I love my little girls, really I do. But after what they put me through this weekend...they are lucky there is no "people pound" or they might've gotten the boot!
Here are the highlights:
Friday afternoon - discover an entire bag of goldfish crackers spilled and crushed into the bedroom carpet. While cleaning stumble upon the cat covered in body wash. Have to "wash" said cat in the shower. Meanwhile, baby escapes the house in the nude and goes streaking around the backyard.
EARLY Saturday morning - wake up to find baby in my bed. Roll over and sink my hand into a pile of sleeping baby poo; have to clean her, change sheets, and remake bed all between 3 and 5 a.m.
Saturday night - finally get a break. Enjoying wine and marshmallows (don't judge me!) outside in front of fire with hubby. Go inside to refill my glass and slip on the kitchen floor, falling and bashing my still healing knee that I fell on this winter. Discover "someone" has sprayed COOKING SPRAY all over the floor.
Sunday morning - while attending mass all appears to be calm until 5 yr old tries to balance on the kneeler and brings it crashing down into my shin. Later she also runs across my bare foot with shoes on.
Conclusion: I blew my calories this weekend with stress eating and drinking. But really, after reading this, can you blame me?
Parents understand why some animals eat their young.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Funny Things.
My children are slowly but surely driving me insane. They do have a few redeeming qualities that I want to mention lest they grow up not getting that mama's blog is meant to be funny, not mean.
Right now I can hear Lolo watching Dora the Explorer. When the cartoon characters ask aloud: "Do YOU like to sing?" I hear her little voice respond "Uh-huh!" It's hilarious.
Lilly has recently picked up the word "awkward". She uses it for everything - except things that are actually awkward. I'm generally amused but I'm only allowing her to use once a day after hearing her drop it like a swear forty times this past weekend.
We had pretty strong weather when we celebrated my sister's college graduation. At one point the whole party had to rush under the tent as rain and hail began to pour from the sky. Lilly didn't mind and ran headlong into the storm screaming "it's raining ICE CUBES!"
I scold Lilly. Lilly scolds Lolo. Lolo scolds the cat. HA!
I guess these are the kind of things that keep me from dropping them off alone at the bus station.
Right now I can hear Lolo watching Dora the Explorer. When the cartoon characters ask aloud: "Do YOU like to sing?" I hear her little voice respond "Uh-huh!" It's hilarious.
Lilly has recently picked up the word "awkward". She uses it for everything - except things that are actually awkward. I'm generally amused but I'm only allowing her to use once a day after hearing her drop it like a swear forty times this past weekend.
We had pretty strong weather when we celebrated my sister's college graduation. At one point the whole party had to rush under the tent as rain and hail began to pour from the sky. Lilly didn't mind and ran headlong into the storm screaming "it's raining ICE CUBES!"
I scold Lilly. Lilly scolds Lolo. Lolo scolds the cat. HA!
I guess these are the kind of things that keep me from dropping them off alone at the bus station.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Let Me Paint You A Picture...
...Or what happens when you leave kids alone with a camera.
"Look Mama! Look at my teeth! See Lolo's teeth? Mama, can I take a picture of your tee-"
NO, no you cannot. Please don't play with the camera!
"Look Mama! Look at my teeth! See Lolo's teeth? Mama, can I take a picture of your tee-"
NO, no you cannot. Please don't play with the camera!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Angst or at Least I Think So
Okay Big O, I've survived 34 years of pain and misery here like most of us but I am sick and tired of being your bitch. I just read somewhere that the key to success is determination and the key to determination is motivation. So, I am super motivated to move right now. I can't handle this town anymore. I am in the minority in my politics, my ethnicity (by marriage), my socio-economy, and my dislike of the local favorite sporting team.
When we moved to this little Bohemian neighborhood, I was excited. It's way more diverse than the area I grew up in, the neighbors were mostly blue collar but nice, and there seemed to be a active spirit about the place. But after this recession and the city government failing to keep promises, I am just done. There is nowhere in this city or even state that interests me and though my extended family is all here, I am frigging desperate to get out of this place.
Did I mention I hate the climate too? Now, I just need to figure out how to get out of my home and get on the road. C'mon, I gave it my best shot, now give me a break!
When we moved to this little Bohemian neighborhood, I was excited. It's way more diverse than the area I grew up in, the neighbors were mostly blue collar but nice, and there seemed to be a active spirit about the place. But after this recession and the city government failing to keep promises, I am just done. There is nowhere in this city or even state that interests me and though my extended family is all here, I am frigging desperate to get out of this place.
Did I mention I hate the climate too? Now, I just need to figure out how to get out of my home and get on the road. C'mon, I gave it my best shot, now give me a break!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Today I Don't Feel So Old
Created by Oatmeal
Meanwhile, the girls even turned away from Spongebob to ask, "Mom, what is that sound?" I think I will record it on my phone for when I need to get their attention. BAHAHAHAHAHA!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Mom Eats Young: The Thing About Sacrifice
Mom Eats Young: The Thing About Sacrifice: "Ah the Easter season. Springtime. Renewal. A time for Lent. Lent? Yes Lent, the Christian preparation for the Ressurection. I had alway..."
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