Friday, February 11, 2011

A List of Don'ts

A list. Of things a human being of reasonable intelligence would not think should have to be said aloud to another human being.
  • Don't lick the cat.
  • Don't ride the cat.
  • Don't play in the cat's litterbox.
  • Don't eat pennies you find on the ground.
  • Don't eat gum you find stuck under a table.
  • Don't suck on magic markers.
  • Don't use the toilet as a swimming pool for your barbie.
  • Don't hide banana peels under the bed.
  • Don't take money from the collection basket.
  • Don't draw on: the sheets, walls, the dining room table, the couch, the floor, your arms, legs, or face
  • Don't eat lotion, chapstick, toothpaste, or A&D ointment
  • Don't climb on the furniture, hang on the curtains, or stand on the counter-tops.
  • Don't tell strangers they are fat.
  • Don't graze the produce section of the grocery store while we are shopping.
  • Don't bite into the big block of cheese then put it back into the refrigerator.
  • Don't pick the neighbors newly planted flowers.
  • Don't throw rocks at other people's cars.
  • Don't lick the television screen.
  • Don't pour a box of stuffing mix into Mama's nightstand.
  • Don't sit on your baby sister.
  • Don't use other people's toothbrush.
This is just my short list. I am sure there are many others. Let me know if you can think of any I've missed.

- Mama B

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